1989 — “Best Band that Does Not Yet Exist” Award. Soothsayers Magazine

1995 — “Ugliest Suits” Award. Gingiss Formalwear Monthly (internal publication)

1996 — “Most Stunning Ascot” Award. Little Sailors Magazine

1997 — “Best Custom-Painted 1969 International Harvester Shorty Bus” Award. Some baked guy in Pittsburgh who really looked like a young Michael Douglass

1998 — “Best New Ska Band” Minnesota Music Awards

1999 — “Best New Ska Band” Minnesota Music Awards (the only repeat in MMA history until it was awarded posthumously to the 1976 & 1977 Pittsburgh Steeler football squads).

2000 — “Best Reason for Dissolving a Band” (Ran out of deodorant). Flora Hewlitt Excuse Foundation

2001 — “Largest Diaspora (in square miles) of Recently Dissolved Artistic Group” Award. The Rand McNally Awards (The McNally’s)

2002 – 2007 — No awards received as a band, but separately some of us got some soccer trophies. At a garage sale.

2008 — Nobel Prize for something about cells &/or electromagnetism.

2009 — “The World’s Most Beautiful Man” Award. People Magazine. (Awarded to seven of eight band members).

2010 — “The Malm” Award. IKEA. (Awarded to musical groups that exhibit stunning bone structure).

2011 — “Album of the Year” for their release “F MINUS: Uncollected Works.” Awarded by Macaroni & Cheese Magazine.

2012 — “Hottest Gnome(s) Award.” General Public.

2013 — “Lifetime Achievement Award” Mayfly Magazine.

2014 — “Hormel Row of Fame” Tube Meat Quarterly: An Exploration of All Things Sausage. [later rescinded].

2015 — “The ‘Oh My God, This Band Is Fucking Genius’ Award” McKnight Foundation. Again.

2016 — “Best Concept Triple Album Boardgame Of All Time” Us (not “Us” the magazine, but us, as in, the band).

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